Honestly, Logan had great points about talking and compromising with your SO in order to have a relationship that benefits everyone (including your dog). Dog is his bbf, his baby. I didnt realize you responded so quick. My husband has point blank said no more pets. She is great with people, kids and other dogs never shows aggression or anything but only towards him in these situations. Its not a human being. Then the animal bared her teeth and chased him away. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. I had an idea of how things would be in my first home and they arent. I am so bothered by the mess this dog has caused and it makes me feel like well never have a nice clean home! They are DOGS, animals.. Not humans. Recently married to a wonderful man, baby girl on the way and currently living the life in a wonderful relationship except one thing His dog. Recently, a neighbors dog broke into our yard and ripped one of my dogs up pretty badly; my spouse wouldnt let me take the dog to the vet for 3 days to see if her foreleg was broken or not, nor to stitch up the 3-in long, inch wide and half inch deep slash under one of her eyes. Stacy, even though the dog that has brought me great pain, had to have surgery due to recurrent hematomas under one ear flap that half her ear flap was removed at 13 years of age. Both of you need to get a hold of yourselves and purchase of beds for the good of the dogs and your relationship. Teach it right and it will learn respect and maybe he wont be jealous anymore if he is then leAve him. If the dog is a grown one, the house training needs to be done again! We have talked and i told him why but he just doesnt understand why i cant just love her (his dog). I hate dog/cat hair all over everything I own and I do not appreciate being disregarded so someone can pet, rub, snuggle, and baby talk their pet. Just last year my Siberian Husky Anya was involved in an attempted aduction by my ex boyfriend and he lured her with the exact same example you provided. [Nutritional Info], Read This If You Cant Sleep Without Your Dog [5 Tips], Read This If You Dont Have Time For Your Dog. I cried the entire time when I signed the dogs over. How many times has your human company shown physical aggression and chased away a dog? I now have one foot out the door unless he is willing to accept my compromise or come up with some equally durable plan. Animals are extremely smart when compared to their loving owners. Scenario: Met and married my partner with the understanding that he cares for a dependent brother who has not worked through psychosomatic issues. How do you get through having to say we had to end a relationship over a dog? And, rabies doesnt cause mouth sores. He is confined to his bed and his yard and it makes me sick. The dog acts out, becomes even more needy, which only breeds guilt in their owner, so they turn their focus away from their relationship to focus solely on the dog again and boom, the issues start! Spray some in the dogs mouth so she knows what it tastes like, then spray it on whatever you dont want her to chew. I tried to explain the logics behind this big problem but Im just told he cant refuse or say no because it was a gift. Cookie Notice these are sensitive subjects to bring up but i cannot live unhappily. Unless hes just being an ass, then maybe you should reconsider staying with your partner. I hope I dont meet another one! However, If the dog continues to do so without any improvement in behavior, that can be the reason why your husband/boyfriend wanna get rid of the dog. Were never too old or too young to learn about ourselves and our significant other and make our human relationship the truly beautiful experience it can be. He sincerely believes his quality of life would diminish if he couldnt sleep with his furry friend and I know that I would grow to detest that animal. The dog is 100% dependent upon the human and knows it is. My husband was on board and his only stipulation was that he wanted a dog that stayed small. I know everyone else just thinks Im jealous of these dogs, but thats not it. The problem is mutual. The dogs sleeps in the bed and I cant stand it. My fianc and I have been together for 8 years and engaged for 4 and a half of those 8 years. My biggest problem is the way she treats the animal. I do not believe that you should suddenly expect your dog to sleep without you after a routine that has gone on for some years. Its all about compromising and some women cant get everything they want just like men. Completely agree, do people really not realize that their human is there for life? But they do NOT comprehend what a human partner does. What happened to the vows you took when you married the person? heaven forbid you eat something !! You can enjoy animals without neglecting your partners wishes. The dog doesnt know a leash nor rules. Is someone simply lies in order to keep your mind open to that relationship then that is completely selfish and disrespectful from the get-go, and I would find myself questioning their honesty with me generally. Even said we should sleep separate! Im married 13 years, we had a small dog for 8 years and she died from heart problems. Shes about 9 or 10 years old. I feel the same as many other people that no matter what, I feel my house is dirty. In my WILDEST imagination, I never thought that a relationship could be so incredibly impacted by ANIMALS, or think that someone would put me 2nd, under their dogs. I just wish he would be nice and not threaten to throw them out the door when Im not here. They are not humans, theyre animals. We got our dog after we were married, and the reason its worked is because weve been on the same page regarding the boundaries set. So since we have a doggy door that was built in with our house when we bought it we decided to train her to go outside. Sorry but your problems are just going to escalate !! I admire you,I know I will never put up with this situation. I know you arent obligated to care for a dog that isnt yours, but it would help you bond with the dog. In fact, whats the point of adopting a dog if you cannot care about him. This is not a new situation but was the same as when we met. For example, every time shed drink water, she would use someones legs as a napkin. Two years ago my oldest and closest to my heart died, and I was devastated and said I was done with dogs. Why on earth do people insist on doing this??? I treat the cat better than him(see above). He loves kids like I love animals. If this is due to aging effects, he will give you sort of special pieces of advice. Thank you so much for the help! If my boyfriend catches him doing that he will go stomp his feet at beau and yell at him telling him to go play. Its an obsession. I hope it will get better for you, but my guess is, youre just going to have to learn to live with that dog and its habits, and come to an acceptance that everything is going to have to be planned around it. They must be let outside, fed, played with and walked. I still get to see him occasionally & even get to keep him when they go on vacation. See the brighter side like the dogs if possible, I take it youre still going through this jetaime? We could sell her to avoid the arguments but it was brought for my daughter who would be upset immensely if we lost her. It was double what the house I sold cost. How does one tell the Brother in law that this is happening? I am very sad that my life has been destroyed and means so little to my partner. He, of course, did nothing to help the situation but get irritated with me. At home training, if that doesnt work the next step professional training. The dog doesnt bark insistently. My boyfriend and I have started living together. There seems to be two types of dog lovers: the Nuts and the normal people who dont anthropomorphize their pets. In all reality, we technically cannot be as loyal to our partners as an animal companion can be. He scratches people, pisses on the floor to get peoples attention. And this is how I feel about my boyfriends pets. This guy sounds ije a jerk. Im becoming totally bitter about this. Then in October she said that she would put in an effort to get him a new homeover five months later she has done nothing to find the dog a new home. If your dog likes someone, they are usually good. The kids and him take advantage when it comes to housework, homework, cleaning, cooking, paying bills, organizing and they think Mom should do it all. Hes had this dog for six years prior to me, so shes been with him for a long time. I didnt know this when I met her but I thought she would have gotten more normal since she wasnt alone anymore and telling me she found the man of her dreams and how hard it is to meet someone like me but we would get into arguments about the bulldogs? A cute basset hound mut with penty of issues, now requiring attention, food and time that I never signed up for or agreed to. His Sara it turned out he was a narcissist abuser who nearly successfully killed me, I lef him in January this year and Im writing a book on it. she barks like mad everytime she hears someone outside or when we have visitors coming through the door, even if its someone she knows ,and two minutes later shes all over the visitors like a rash lapping up the attention, also when we walk in town she is really nervous, shakes, unexpectedly twirls around sometimes nearly knocking me over. I find myself not wanting to cone home. If your in a relationship with a human isnt the idea to share your bed w a human? The other part is I dont get how if Im not requesting anything outlandish why he cant see that its a valid request. She never really chewed much but did on a few occasions when she was a puppy. You cannot spontaneously travel without either finding a sitter or paying for a kennel. Sorry, pooch, no pups in the bedroom or on the furniture. A dog that is misbehaving, begging for attention, or being rude, is actually feeling very UNCOMFORTABLE and is seeking relief! It is all over his work clothes because, of course, the dog rides shotgun in the vehicle. He has had them about 8 years now. Ive had people tell me that Im not a good dog parent(I hate that term) because we dont let him on our furniture. i cannot stand this animal. Well, its been a few weeks now and his ass hasnt calmed down. It was in kitchen cabinets, on shelves, in every nook and cranny. Or I cant give the dog a bath anrd other things my husbands gonna want me to do. If I get up from the couch she will jump in my place and not move and the GF just smiles it off. My question to you is: Your pet surely is not a happy animal in his given situation. You can be confident the vast majority of sane humans would feel the same dogs are not babies, theyre animals sure, some can be cute and cuddly, but they have to have boundries, and whilst some of you dog owners may choose to overlook these things, the facts remain that having them sleep in your bedroom does present health and cleanliness issues, even for the most tolerant people: the smell, shedding, drooling, farting, fleas, mites.. not to mention clean clothes and carpets covered in dog hair.. yuk! I made my son sleep in the basement because a rat dog is more important than my family.. HOLD YOUR OWN GROUND! Use this site to investigate unknown phone numbers that raises red flags. I also have a cat because I know that I personally do not have the time to take care of and properly train a dog. She has told me and her parents that she feels the same way. Puzzle toys. I tell the dog no, but she just looks at me with clueless look and then runs crazy laps around the apartment. If your husband/boyfriend needs to get rid of the dog, the main reason could be puppy blues. I dealt with it 2 months, I felt like I didnt matter. Why was your ex not a good man as youve implied? the dual personality of the terrier really made the situation worse to the point of being a barking biting alpha dog. her reasoning? Going to the kitchen, having a snack or a meal he is by my side begging at any opportunity he gets. Recently we found out the friends he left his dog with werent taking good care of the dog. He was supportive of getting the dog although I knew he wasnt a massive animal person. You can still love the crap out of your dogs and maintain a respectful dog owner relationship. ITS always in the way!! So recently I had a baby girl, and my husband has a 2 year old pit-bull. So sad. That being said, you are being selfish and cannot say live your life to keep him happy. I am doing all the training, but I work full time and hes home during the day. My husband says that hitting our Pitt/American bull dog puppy is okay because he is driving him crazy especially when my husband is trying to work. My advice to anyone thinking of getting a dog is to be really clear how your partner feels about them first. I hate them. Yes, seriously. When A Dog Arrives. If you want to be with him youll have to compromise and so will he with regular baths, air fresheners, daily vacuum sessions even though it seems pointless, and boundaries until the dog is passes on. The dogs will probably always come first. I read nearly all of these comments, and I can totally relate to the frustration, because I too live with a dog that has a MYRIAD of biological/anxiety issues (and also sheds, drools, etc). I have owned and loved pets all my life, as part of my family, but they never usurped my human family members. Unfortunately the media we expose ourselves to does not always promote reality. Anyhow if you have to rehome the dog, dont just look for a shelter. They were well trained. I bought soda covers which my wife always removes. I remember not too long after we had out child, one night she came back out 5 times in a 10-15 minute period to tell the dog good night and I love you. Easy for me really. Its making me nuts and I am really starting to resent him and not want to be with him. The dog drives me crazy. If the dog is still a puppy, you can work on house training. My only resort left is to Im thinking put the dog down because she isnt leaving me any other choice. Every time we think she is taking a step forward, she takes 10 steps back. Firstly, they drool so seeing them drool around the kitchen table was gross (she called it cute, not cute!). There have been instances while I have not been home that my dog will pee on the floor when he wants her to go outside or if he walks into the room (this has happened 5 times over 2 years). Johnston, S. (n.d.). I kept thinking, whats wrong with this picture? Only a month would be sufficient. At once, while moving along, you see your puppy, Breeds Starting With A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Contact Me | About Me | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer | Site Map. My first dog was older when they met and therefore very sedate, the second dog. Professional training has to happen and if you dont have the money for it dont consider getting a pet with considering the likely hood youll find a significant other one day who might not like pets or want that responsibility even if he or she can tolerate them. Hed say things like shes mad at me because I pet another dog and then say Dog name, I didnt go out on you! Or when I told this large dog (over 100 lbs.) Do you INVITE your partner to bed? I let her out first thing in the morning but if I dont wake up early enough she just goes. I know he made a commitment to the dog, but I guess I thought I was the more important one and when you are giving your dogs 4 different pills and a few injections of stuff to keep him healthy, happy and strong but he is 16 years old, its almost as if he never wants his dog to die. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and in the past year he was my biggest supporter on me finally getting a dog of my ownwell now a year or so later my dog still needs lots of training but my boyfriend has simply made it clear he will never move in or get a place with me if I have my dog . This is the only thing we have ever fought about in 2 years together. Not today. I have had a dog for quite some time now, and grew up having multiple animals at the same time. It all bothers me very much. His wife was disgusted because she said that the dog should have stayed on the ground while they ate and now the next person that comes in will be sitting and eating where a dog was? Humans are not generally loyal creatures. You might ask your boyfriend to go with you to a shelter, just to look at the cute dogs, or to at least pet a pup if you can't get one. Thank you all. My dog IS a one-person-dog. (No exaggeration. Anybody who tries to force someone to get rid of their dog is either a selfish idiot or a narcissist and we all know that you dont want any part of that crazy rollercoaster of a life. I know I must sound like a nag sometimes but communication is key. I felt rushed to eat my dinner. Contrary to what you may saythe answer is yes, you would. Im sorry and mad for you, that you had to go through that. Font make it an issue of choosing the dog over my mate. While her parents dont mind watching her dog, especially since he keeps their dog company, they dont like having him for long periods of time because hes just as needy as their dog. I think the real issue is over the past 13 years my partner has had it one way and his way, and now that I request things be different he finds the demands unreasonable and defends his dog. Do you ever just feel like ending your relationship because of this issue? The last straw was when i suffered a severe allergic reaction ( couldnt breathe and eyes swole to the size of an apple)to the cats hair and was told by the doc to immediately remove any pets lest i wanted to risk life long asthma attacks, my husband to my utter shock defended the cat and refused to remove it as a precautionary measure. The shelters are full of them. Ive built them a damn good warn dog house and theyve adapted to the change. If you argue like that before marriage, it will get much worse! Thats what youll have to look forward to if you are going to be with himsorry. When we argue he always has to insert stupid comments like he is my dog, he isnt going anywhere, I love him and thats that. Sadly since you have already brought it up to your partner and they dont respect you by compromising youre gonna be stuck and you should use this as a preview for what the rest of your relationship will look like. Hes a neat freak and Ive got a miniature husky mix who sheds a lot. If you leave, it will hurt at first, it always does, as the movie Hope Floats has a very good line, Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but its whats in the middle that counts. This is a new relationship with the girl I am currently dating, so I dont want to throw in the towel just yet. Regardless the animal was never trained properly and she has no intentions of attempting to do so. Originally the dog was obtained at the recommendation of a therapist for the dependent brother to increase his physical activity (going for walks) and to give him something to focus on other than himself. We have had discussions that he still wants to sleep with his dogs, while he knows how i feel about that. Yet he insisted on us dating. Her reply was as expected, to the tune of, if my dog has to go, I go. Especially when they keep it up because they arent satisfied! It simply would not be tolerated. I am fighting a losing battle. Anytime you have anything to eat or drink shes RIGHT THERE. I just dont know what to do. You deserve a normal relationship just like anybody else but it is obvious that your not going to find it there. He sees a dog and he looks SO happy. I rescued her without the permission of my spouse and we have been fighting ever since. Change in the schedule. As with kitties, which Google it eventually a jr may kill the household cats (its in their breeding!!) If you dont set limits, the dog thinks its a pack leader. If you still cannot someone, its better to interview several people and give the dog to someone you totally believe and feel comfortable with. We had moved in together knowing he couldnt have his dog, he said he was okay with that. I am an absolute animal person and then I learned the hard way that this dog has MAJOR separation anxiety. Issues with an introduction: Sometimes, the issue with the introduction to other pets. I actually wanted to leave in the very beginning, but tried to make it work. I truly love our husky, but this new dog that my husband seems to love is driving me nuts. I hate continuing to learn my lesson. For four years now he has left me to be in charge of their care knowing full well that I was never a dog person. You have to word it differently than get rid of as these dog worshippers are very sensitive to that. The last big fight we had that almost ended our marriage was me telling her she didnt have to take the dog with her everywhere, and needed to get the dog used to being at home by herself so whenever we are both working outside of the home, the dog is not going through separation anxiety. We cant go anywhere do anything that is not about dog. Everything about her dog does nothing short of threaten to blow my fuse. I would have put up with the other two cats. Our emotions are merely heightened because of our thinking but function the exact same. He jokes about what I would do if i came home one day and Nimbus (my dog) was gone. Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!! Which I dont mind playing sometimes. We dont live together so the few hours we spend together shouldnt be such a hassle for him, after a few minutes my dog either goes to sleep or chews on something and doesnt bother him anymore. The next time I walked in, the dog was on the far right end of the sofa. But not go above the line. Doesnt mean that the person has herpes, its a different virus and specific to mouth sores (as I understand it, anyways). Yup, dog is still there. Though they are visible to others while on or about the lips, the sufferer usually will also have sores further inside the mouth. Ummm. but the human seemed to thrive on her thug style behavior. Its ok, to talk about THOSE little ugly things. Also I agree with Michael that your dog not being socialized is an extremely bad thing. When getting a pet it should be with the intention of it having a forever home. Take off your tinfoil hat Do dogs even understand what monogamy is? A year on and he works full time and he cant take dog with him, I work from home so I look after both dogs, sometimes my partner doesnt even take them for walks in the evening as hes so tired from work and he gets upset if I dont go for a walk with him ,but its all right for me to walk the dogs during the day by myself. It was one of those things where, what could go wrong goes out the window. Not. Allowing your kids to play with such a dog is just dangerous, and you need to realize that. He then told me that he doesnt like dogs, finds it stressful to be around them, is afraid of getting bitten and wont have one in his home. As I say, it can be annoying so I do have sympathy, but I am warn down by the constant moaning. So to get to my story, I moved in with my Gf about 4 years ago. I am so totally depressed. I really dont want one of the dogs being so much hassle. If the dog is the cause of many conflicts in your family, its a good idea to consult a professional psychologist to seek help. He constantly complains that it is in the way. to get off of the couch to go get a treat he had for her hed say She doesnt have to, shes the queen! He hurt me deeply and there were times I absolutely hated the animal because she was the agent of my pain. This is getting out of control. Well guys after two years I ended up loving the dog, she sleeps on the bed and my relationship is better than its ever been. I walk the darn thing all week and would love my husband to want to come out with me at the weekend. He was ok with both of them but hates my new dog, who is a sweetheart and the same breed as the other two. When we were trying to watch a movie on the couch, they keep trying to climb over us and these giant 70lb things dont need to be up there either. You have my heartfelt sympathy. If your partner does not respect how you feel towards animal rearing, they certainly will respect you with other things as well. As we only meet during w/end or at times every two w/ends depending on our schedules. Its on counters and in the fridge and in our food and even makes it into rooms where shes not allowed. A squishy huge wet spot that I stepped in when I went to wake my daughter up for school. You dont need to do anything, she knows from the beginning your passion for your dog. Just recently I traveled to where he was staying with our travel trailer and working. I think in Mistys case all she can fairly expect is for her partner to groom his dog more so that the fur is as little a discomfort or annoyance as possible. I need rest because I have to work a 12 hour shift the next day. (She needs constant baths due to this) it really grosses me out. its annoying. this rat terriers was given a time out in a bedroom, closet or backyard when the barking started. this dog just stares at me to say you wont do shit when shes saying yes. He says he loves dogs but only the ones who listen. Im so happy I found this forum and to know that Im not alone! Ive been married 16 years. I dont care what people say. Im starting to feel resentment and dont know how to deal with this as I love the dog and hes well trained etc. Its a warped relationship Watch for pictures of the animal everywhere and how he or she speaks about their pet. Nessa, the dog nipping at my kid would have been the last straw. All rights reserved. Mid January, we adopted a shelter dog. Ive given up so much for my wife so she could have this dog and I love her and she acknowledges it, but she doesnt seem to understand how much this has hurt me. My girlfriend has a Yorkie, which I came into the relationship with her having. I seriously clean for nothing. Climbing into a bed of pet fur stinking like a rank dog is disgusting! I like his presence there with me so it works. I hate her. Why am I still around? Theres no excuse for peeing in the floor. I have made a arrangement with my wife NO pets in the bed.after one week she decide to bring the dog back in the bed. I have bought a pretend, fur real, cat to sit in my lap, its not the same. My DH would tell me I was selfish. Supervising: You need to take the responsibility to supervise your kids and watch all the time not to play with the dog until your dog trainer recommends doing so. Its and indoor dog. Just a normal pet /person disciplined relationship. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. I hope it happens but another part of me is still unnerved because he really only doing it because he thinks she is treated bad if he makes her do animal things.. Unlike your family your dog never disagrees with you, no matter how wrong you are, because it has no idea what you are talking about. He wont go on vacation because she doesnt like being boarded! You are very lucky to have a supportive partner. Weve been staying here almost 3 months, it has been overwhelming and stressful for us because we cant really settle because its not our place but plan to move out in December into our own flat which is in the next 2 months. No, we are building our own home and I feel that at this point, we have the decision to take the dogs or not and finding them a good new home where they have space to run around instead of sitting inside all day with no people around. Im not a person who is fond of energetic animals in general though, which is why I prefer the quiet calmness of cats. I was also in a new relationship and did not want to throw the towel in yet, and he told me he was open to having me help train the dog. He yelled at me when I was tired and my feet where swollen because I didnt buy the dog food when she still had some left. I have problems with depression, chronic pain, etc. Im in a high security high stress job. I live on 5 acres and have plenty of room. If having an indoor cat or a dog that sleeps in your bed is important to you, youll need to ensure your partner shares these values or risk ending up in conflict. I should not have to sneak to pet my dog. I compromise on everything because of him and he never even bothers to understand me. Im ruined for life. He will not read about it or acknowledge it. She just knows my girlfriend will spaz on her too if she admits it. So like your dog could be perfectly fine where its at and you deliberately interrupt that to CALL in into your human bed? I told him that he either needs to take her and come up with the deposit for the condo, pay me for all my efforts of cleaning her mud and poop like doggy day care, or stop by every morning and take her to doggy daycare on his way to work. It wasnt until another dog came into the picture (my girlfriends roommate at the time) and all things started going south. In any case, Im not saying either of you is right/wrong, but just trying to shed some light! In February, we bought our dream house. Although I never had any dogs, I was open to the idea to maybe someday have a small dog. I dont know what to do. Dogs behave the way we TRAIN them to behave. It shows she not only has any idea how pets work, but what is really helpful for someone who is depressed. He knew from the very beginning that I had several animals. I wish you all the best and will be sendin prayers your way! Rather, he makes a long long list of excuses for her retarded manipulative behaviour. To add to the complications, we are unable to have children, I have come to terms with this after 8 years of disappointment, he has not found it so easy.