He continued to abuse her on and off for nearly two years, she says, often at holidays and celebrations with her close-knit extended family. I remember immediately after answering the interviewer I said "That's the reason I didn't tell before, I kept it to myself because I thought no one would believe me." Two years later, though,whenErin was 11, she said her older teenage cousin started abusing her too. A safe touch could be a high five or hug and an unsafe touch is someone touching you in the areas covered by your swimsuit, or your private parts, Merryn said. The reality is, 93 percent of the time it is not strangers that are hurting kids. [7] She published her diary detailing her cousin's abuse and her own recovery, relapse and reconciliation in book form as Stolen Innocence in 2005. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. At the age of 13, Erin finally got the courage to tell her parents after learning her younger sister was being abused by that same cousin. Childhood sexual abuse survivor turned author, speaker, child advocate and activist Erin Merryn is the founder and president of Erin's Law. Erin's Law, which debuted in Illinois, is now in 37 states and mandates that public schools teach age-appropriate sex abuse prevention to grades as young as pre-K. Merryn said those lessons on . Details Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. IG: The_Cat_Named_Carrot.Ellen is Carrot's biggest fan. Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. I was a senior in high school when I published my first book, my childhood diary where I kept my secrets of abuse with my cousin locked away. Erin, a Chicago-area native, first introduced the legislation in Illinois, and the bill was given her namesake. Merryn, then 6, was excited about her first sleepover with her kindergarten classmate Ashley. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. Alaska Dispatch: When you decided to confront and start corresponding with your cousin, how did it go at first? Get the best experience and stay connected to your community with our Spectrum News app. I sat next to a woman who I had just met moments earlier in the waiting room with my sister and mom. High near 60F. Merryn: This wasn't bad luck. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. Are you afraid you will lose business? We've had an unprecedented change for our Gingerbread House Partners in Prevention 2021 Luncheon and we couldn't be more excited! The abuse continued and Erin struggled with the secret that hung over her, a secret that eventually destroyed a family and took Erin's innocence. Erin Merryn is a powerful speaker and advocate for countless, faceless children and adults in our country who have similarly suffered sexual abuse. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . That's where, 14 years ago, a then-13-year-old Erin Merryn first . Statistics show that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused by the age of 18. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Her friend slept through the assault, and Merryn remained silent. The man had threatened Merryn that hed hurt her more if she told anyone. The two continued to correspond for seven months. He told me, "Your goal is to convince everyone else." Because so often, people that are being abused do not report it until theyre in their 30s, 40s and 50s cause nobody ever gave them the message onhow tospeak up and tell, Merryn said. Instead I am still running from Brian. She started by pulling out that little pink diary. The case never went to trial, and Brian received some counseling, but no punishment. Erin's Law has passed in 21 states and is pending in 22 others. When Merryn eventually confided in Ashley about what had happened, her friend was not surprised; in fact, the scene was depressingly familiar to her. In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . Erin Merryn is author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Children must be taught to tell a trusted adult if anyone touches their private parts. In a Q&A with Alaska Dispatch before boarding her flight north, Merryn wasn't shy about sharing the difficulties she's experienced, including a suicide attempt, or the one thing that happened to make her finally tell someone she was being hurt. She didn't want to stop visiting her friend but tried to find times when Richard wasn't around. Merryn says starting when she was six, she was sexually abused by a neighbor, then at 11 by an older cousin. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular videos. She is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for . By breaking your silence you are reclaiming your voice. I found myself locked in bedrooms, basements, bathrooms, a car, garage and repeatedly assaulted by my cousin.. So before CAC's a child brought to a police station could be filled with anxiety and fear that they are in trouble. Then, after seven months of back-and-forths, he wrote a heartfelt apology to Erin and asking for her forgiveness, but also understanding if she couldnt forgive him. Now I have somebody I love and trust abusing me," Merryn said. He threatened her to stay silent so she kept her secrets locked away in her childhood diary. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Caught you off guard? She was honored for her efforts in 2012 as one of Glamour Magazines 2012 Women of the Year. All rights reserved. "He told me, just like in the past by this other perpetrator, 'Erin, this is our . They talked for hours about what had happened, and the next day told their parents about their shared horror. What are the most persistent knowledge gaps? Merryn: I reclaimed my voice in the Children's Advocacy Center. She has now dedicated her life to protecting our nations children. The two families have ceased having contact. Sunshine and a few clouds. The man, then in his late 20s, abused her several more times in the next year, including, she says, raping her during a daytime visit when she thought he wouldn't be home. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? Erin Merryn (Author) Format: Kindle Edition See all formats and editions Kindle $12.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $16.10 35 Used from $2.70 5 New from $12.50 Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. "(It) brings me back to remembering being six-years-old being abused. Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center They never came, so I stayed silent. Here's a glimpse of her life and why she's on a quest for social change. ThediaryIkept my secrets locked away in, where I lost my innocence, I turned into a book mysenior year of high school called Stolen Innocence, because thats whathappened to me, Merryn said. This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. It brings it all back to the surface. She was named Glamour Magazine Woman of the Year in 2012 and a People magazine Hero Among Us for her tireless work promoting Erin's Law nationwide with a mission to our keep children safe by educating them about personal body safety. A week later, she got a reply. Sorry, there are no recent results for popular commented articles. I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. Every other headline horrifies the public with another predator taking not just advantage of a child but everything from a child. The girls were brought to a Children's Advocacy Center where they had to tell their stories to complete strangers, something Erin wasnt looking forward to at all. Erin wanted nothing more than to make him feel the hurt that she did. It is my hope hearing my message today youll see the importance of what Im here to talk to you about, said Erin Merryn. Those were just the number of children who broke their silence that year. She wasn't always successful. Visit Amazon.au's Erin Merryn Page and shop for all Erin Merryn books. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. Im very concerned about the possibility of grooming or the losing the innocence of our young children. Bad things happen to children all the time, the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope, Your California Privacy Rights/Privacy Policy. When Erin Merryn was a child, she was sexually abused by two people she knew and trusted, including a family member. It would be many more years until that voice would become the strong, confident woman that I have become. At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13 . At age 17, she attempted suicide. Erin's Law, named after Erin Merryn, has passed in 36 states and is pending in the other 14. Since going public 10 years ago, I have had no contact with him. Check out Erins third book, An Unimagiable Act. This book describes Erins journey across America to get Erins Law passed and resources for survivors, parents, and educators. So be careful sending little Tommy for ice at the machine down the hall and inform teens who often book motels after prom. After reading that letter, a switch flipped inside Erin. The path to justice for survivors of sexual assault is not an easy road. See her personal website at ErinMerryn.net. I know that when theres one in four girls and one in six boys (being abused) Im not the only one standing in this room that this has happened to, Erin said of the statistics. Check out pictures, bibliography, and biography of Erin Merryn She is not ashamed of the sexual abuse she endured as a child and, instead, feels inspired to put a face and voice on childhood sexual abuse. Erin decided at a young age to take a stand against evil and expose the silent epidemic of child sexual abuse in the spotlight. Use safe and unsafe touch. At age 11, Erin fell victim again. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. After her parents decided to move Erins abuse ended but only brought her that much closer to her next abuser, an older teenage cousin who lived down the street from her. Every parent should do their homework before they send their kids anywhere. The only difference is now I am running from him in my dreams" (Merryn 49). If they feel they are in danger or in an uncomfortable situation, they can call home and use the code word, something as simple as, I forgot my math homework at school. . But her parents thought it was because of health problems she was having at the time. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Families pressuring loved ones to stay quiet is not uncommon, but as I often like to tell survivors, by speaking up you are not only helping yourself heal; you will help save other children from experiencing this same horror at the hands of their abuser. Gov. 35. This law requires personal body safety taught to children Pre-K to 12th grade through an age appropriate curriculum. Instead I am still running from Brian. Partly cloudy. She is dedicated to taking the stigma and shame away from sexual abuse and giving survivors the courage to speak up as she has. I got five sentences to my five pages, but he responded and it opened a door of communication, she said. Young children tend to hear a lot of messages about avoiding interactions with people they don't know, when in reality they are far more likely to face harm from a relative or family friend. Alaska Dispatch: Thank you for reminding us that abuse happens across all socioeconomic conditions. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). What once caused her shame, and something she never wanted to talk about, she now found herself wanting to turn it into a book. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. I will fight alongside Erin and the advocates right here in our community until the day that this lifesaving legislation finally becomes law.. So I stayed silent. Alaska Dispatch: In your quest to get Erin's Law passed in every state, you must have encountered some surprising remarks. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today. As a young child from 6 to 8 (years old), when the neighbor was abusing me, he warned me if I told anyone he would come get me; he knew where I lived. After an evening of playing with Ashley's dollhouse and watching The Little Mermaid, the girls went to bed in Ashley's room. Merryn: There is so much shame and stigma attached to sexual abuse. In just a few short years, she has already persuaded half the countryto pass similar versions of the law. Merryn is a national spokesperson for the National Children's Alliance, becoming the first survivor of child sexual abuse that went through a Children's Advocacy Center to speak on national television about her experience.[1]. Erin Merryn, the bill's namesake and a survivor of sexual abuse, said she is frustrated by the governor's slow response to sign it into law. Erin also included the correspondence between her cousin and herself, for readers to also hear the perpetrator's side. Alaska Dispatch: You have since spoken up in a big way. I also learned in group how to create a safe place to escape to when memories flooded my memory.While I was not ready at thirteen and fourteen to immediately share the journey of what all I went through because I was still too ashamed the Children's Advocacy Center laid the foundation in my healing to one day let that voice be heard. Merryn is an author and activist against sexual abuse who founded "Erin's Law," which requires school to. She was also afraid she would lose her innocence. A place I went to with my eleven year old sister and mother. The center provided me a safe place to connect with people who understood unlike my friends in school who did not understand what I had gone through. Erin Merryn (born February 2, 1985) is the author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, and An Unimaginable Act. Vermont State Board of Education has required it in schools since 2009. The legislation, "Erin Merryn's Law," (S.6182 Klein/ A.8993 Dinowitz), would require schools to make a change to their . He cornered her in basements, bathrooms and bedrooms, always reminding her that she shouldn't bother telling anyone because no one would believe her. Do not use the phrases good touch and bad touch, says Merryn. In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. Her name is Erin Merryn and she is the founder of Erins Law. It ended only after a chance conversation between Merryn and one of her sisters, who blurted out one day that their cousin Brian was "gross." Alaska's version of Erin's Law is currently under consideration by the Alaska State Legislature as House Bill 233. COURIER/JOELLYN CURRY I found hope and healing there and people that believed me. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. When all you have ever been told by an abuser is to stay silent, no one will believe you, this is our secret, you learn to believe that, and (it) makes it extremely difficult to speak up about. 25 $. She wanted him to know how much his actions had affected her life. This went on for a month before police got involved. In 2010, Merryn helped create Erin's Law, which was the first law to be passed in the U.S. that required children to be taught sexual abuse prevention in school. 5 talking about this. I think he knew that once he had us conditioned, we were easy targets. (See Gary Glitter's sex scandal.). It is when they hear my story of how I was raped, and how my abusers controlled the situation by being the only ones talking to me about what was happening, that they "get it." Then, Erin said she told her family too. There are thousands of accused sex offenders every year who are found not guilty living in our communities. [5] The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. While these inhumane animals may live among us, there is one sexual abuse survivor who has made it her mission to empower children about these evil, sick people and teach them about body safety. More than 90 percent of children who are sexually abused know their attacker, Bucco said with conviction. I continued to write him because I wanted answers. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. You have permission to edit this article. Merryn said she testified four times for the task force. tax-exempt 501(c)(4) non-profit organization. Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. They dont warn us about our own family, they dont teach us that in school, her age 12 entry stated. www.accessonline.com/videos/ellen-degeneres-gives-internet-famous-cat-a-call-in-quarantine, www.rainn.org/news/president-signs-measures-support-state-action-prevent-and-address-child-sexual-abuse, www.accessonline.com/videos/ellen-degeneres-gives-internet-famous-cat-a-call-in-quarantine. Every six minutes a child is sexually abused in the U.S. One in every 4 girls and 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before the turn 18 over 90% by a family member or friend. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). Merryn suffered sexual abuse by a male neighbor at ages six to eight[2] and by a teenage cousin at ages 11 to 13. See all See top. Survivors need to know they have nothing to be ashamed of. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? She urged kids to come forward if they or someone they know is being sexually abused. Visit sheriffalerts.com to find out if there are sex offenders in your area. The only education I ever received about sexual abuse was when I became a victim, and the abusers threatened bad things would happen if I ever told. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her. I finally got, after seven months, what I had been looking for: an apology. See the sex abuse in Israel's ultra-orthodox community. 46 reviews. [3], "I was not educated on not keeping secrets if someone was hurting me. Her testimony was met with a standing ovation. Someone should have known in my earlier years when I was being abused by an adult neighbor. You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. I just wanted to get it over with.She was a forensic interviewer who had been trained to interview children who had reported abuse. I always feared he would come back. Forgiveness set me free. The parents can then share the information that the schools provided with anyone else in their household. Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. Forgiveness is what set me free. She was abused. Her courage breaking her silence allowed me to take a stand for both of us and be brave and tell her we can't keep this a secret, that we have to tell our parents. Children are taught that the police are their to keep their communities safe and lock up the bad people. In 2008, Erin decided to step up her efforts to protect children nationwide and started writing state legislators to ask them to pass laws requiring schools to better educate children, school employees and parents how to prevent and stop child sexual abuse. I wouldn't have quit my job four years ago as a master's level counselor to go after this had I not been lead by the Lord. She began to think about all the other prevention classes and drills she learned in school: how to say no to drugs, what to do in case of a fire, what to do in case of a tornado, how to never answer the door if parents arent home. Merryn said she was never taught to speak up about it, so shekept it a secret. Merryn (whose other books are Stolen Innocence and Living for Today), the mother of a toddler girl, says this is a conversation parents must have every year and often. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. CBN News Self - Children's Advocate. After enduring a childhood filled w. On Thursday, Quinn signed "Erin's Law" at the Children's Advocacy Center of North and Northwest Cook County in Hoffman Estates. Usually, the abuse isnt at the hands of a stranger, rather someone they know and trust. We live in a society that doesn't want to even address this issue. You didn't just tell one person. Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. Erin has been traveling state to state testifying to lawmakers to pass Erin's law for 7 years. I came from a good home, two parents, good schools, safe neighborhood, etc. Victims are those who don't survive. Here's how to protect your kids from online predators. At first, it happened when she was babysitting her younger cousins and their older brother would arrive home before their mother. The book is titled "Stolen Innocence." Eventually, her parents and sisters moved to another town, closer to family. Erin Merryn is an author (Stolen Innocence, Living for Today, An Unimaginable Act), activist, and founder of Erin's Law. (Stacey Wescott / Chicago Tribune) During her quest,. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. Meanwhile, the survivor who came up with the idea aftersufferingher own personal horrors shared her story with senators Tuesday. If you tell anybody, you will destroy our family, she said.. Read more about Erins Law at www.erinslaw.org, or about Erin herself at www.erinmerryn.net. Confronting him empowered me and eventually allowed me to forgive him when he wrote a letter apologizing. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. February 7, 2023 by Cindy Erin Merryn is a Global Advocate for Child Sex Abuse Prevention For years, Erin Merryn was too scared to speak up about sexual abuse. Erin Elizabeth heard over the years from 11-13 "Nobody will believe you, you have no proof, you will destroy our large extended family, this is our secret don't tell anyone." No one is allowed in the bathroom with you not even your friend. So many children will be protected because of her." I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. Erin's Law is the first US child sexual abuse prevention education law requiring children be educated in schools. Erin Merryn, survivor of sexual abuse as a child and the driving force behind Erin's Law, speaks to an auditorium full of students at Metamora Township High School last Monday, March 12. 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